


The Birthday

by droppedwalkman



Category: The Simpsons
Genre: Boss/Employee Relationship, Choose Your Own Adventure, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance, School, Yearning, game book
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 4,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29895078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/droppedwalkman/pseuds/droppedwalkman
Summary: Skalmers but it's a choose your own adventure style story.  Skinner wants to make Chalmers' B-day special but the usual chaos ensues.
Relationships: Gary Chalmers/Seymour Skinner, chalmskinn, skalmers





	1. 1

NOTE

This is a choose your own adventure style story; it’s not meant to be read chapter by chapter sequentially. Please go to the indicated chapter according to your choice. Enjoy!

Ch. 1

Skinner’s eyes twinkled as he adjusted his tie for the third time. It was a very special day: Superintendent Chalmers’ birthday. The principal had been waiting for this moment for months and was determined to really make a splash. His festering, roiling feelings for his boss began the very second he first heard his own name screamed in his face by him. How he loved that man, and how wonderful it was to finally be honest about his feelings with himself. It was still a secret from Chalmers, though, and to be frank, Skinner was content to take this secret to his grave, as long as he could continue to be around him, to see him, to serve him. 

“Seymour!” came a raspy demand from downstairs. 

“Yeees, Mother,” came the automatic reply, dampening his joy a little. 

“Don’t forget to get that creme after school!”

Slicking his hair back--just for it to bounce right back--Skinner sighed. “Yes, Mother.” He then gave himself a confident look: he wouldn’t let anyone ruin this day. He waltzed right past the table, where his mother was staring into her coffee cup and grumbling loudly about some flaw with it. 

“Aren’t you having any breakfast, Seymour?” she called to him as he was at the door. 

“Not right now, Mother,” he replied with a smirk she did not see. And with a rush of rebellion, he left the house without any further explanation. 

When he arrived at the school, bright and early, he was nearly bowled over by Bart on his skateboard. The child laughed and called him something quite inappropriate. 

“Bart! Get back here!” the principal exclaimed. He put on his sternest face and crossed his arms as Bart wheeled himself back, sighing. 

“You’re gonna make me late!” he complained. 

“While I’m glad you actually care about that,” Skinner replied ostentatiously. “I just wanted to tell you to be more careful. Don’t skateboard around like that when the Superintendent shows up, alright? Today is a special day.” 

Bart looked around, if searching for something. “What’s so great about today?”

Skinner sputtered, “You’ll find out later, just promise me you won’t cause any trouble today!”

“No problemlemo, Skinnerino!” said the boy as he zoomed off. 

Skinner shook his head, but was otherwise satisfied. Avoiding the rush of students filing past, he headed straight for…

his office (go to Ch. 2)

the cafeteria (go to Ch. 3)


	2. 2

His good mood returning, Skinner whistled a tune as he entered his office. His eyes were closed, his ears filled with his own music as he walked in and sat down. It took a moment for him to realize he was sitting on a moving, rustling...biting mass. 

As realization sunk in, he let out a groan at first, which became a hearty scream. His office was filled with rats! And he was sitting on a family of them! 

He fell out of his chair, scurrying towards the door as they swarmed. “Ye gods!” he called out to the heavens just as one particularly brave rat launched at his face…

Only for it to be caught in the capable hands of Groundskeeper Willie, who gave it a stern look before dropping it into a bag. “Two!” He checked the bag with a grunt. It was almost filled, and stirred with furious life. “Err...one, two, three…”

“What on Earth is going on here!” Skinner yelled, curled up by the door, protecting his face and throat. “Why is my office filled with rats!?”

“Aye, that wasn’t part of the plan, it weren’t…” Willie grumbled, fishing more rodents from the air. 

“Get rid of them!!” Skinner was a tight little ball by now, his voice shrill and shaking. “Oh god...I think one bit me!”

“Ole’ Willie’ll take ‘a that, Sir,” Willie said as he continued to stuff the bag. He presented a badly injured, bleeding arm. “I’ve got a creme for it.” 

“Ahh!!!” Skinner mustered the courage to get up and race to his desk, throwing open drawers to see if he had anything that might help. He frantically threw the few mousetraps he had on the floor, only for Willie to step on them and shriek. 

There was a knock at the door. Skinner was fit to shriek or cry, desperately worried that was his boss at the door. “Busy!” he managed to yell out. 

But it was Bart’s voice on the other side. “Yo, Skinner! Open up!”

“Now’s not a good time, Bart!” Skinner all but pleaded. 

Mere mortals cannot control the universe. The door opened and the rats flooded into the hall. Bart stepped aside and whistled, impressed by the chaos. He beamed at the symphony of the screams and protestations of children and teachers alike. 

“Bart!” wailed the principal. At least the rats were not actively all over him right now. He dropped his head onto the desk, clawing at his own hair. Today was not the day for this! The lump in his throat intensified. 

Willie ran out after the creatures, and Bart approached Skinner nonchalantly. “Wow,” he said. “Your office sure stinks.” 

“What do you want, Bart?” Skinner moaned, barely looking at the piece of paper Bart slapped on the desk. He sighed as he read it; just another detention form. He looked at the boy with utter exhaustion. “Again?”

“You know,” Bart said, resting an elbow on the chair. “I think we can help each other out, if you catch my drift.” 

Skinner sighed even heavier. “What do you mean?”

Bart shrugged and pulled out his slingshot, admiring it. “You got a problem, I got a problem.” He gave the principal a pointed look. “Why not help each other?”

“What did you have in mind?” Skinner asked, trying hard not to beg. This was not a good day for these shenanigans! 

“I can lead the rats out of here,” Bart said aloofly. “If you can, you know, forget about that,” he gestured to the teacher’s note. 

With a harried look, Skinner ripped it up right in front of the boy. “Take care of this, Bart.” Bart saluted and left. 

Trembling, Skinner closed the door after him and went back to his desk to try to calm down. He shuddered at the droppings left all over the place and sneezed from dander. That made him look down and notice rat fur and dropping all over his clothes. “Gods....” he moaned in defeat. 

He slipped out the window, almost twisting an ankle, as he fled the scene. He was terrified of what further damage Bart was likely to cause, petrified of Chalmers finding him gone, but a part of him wanted to just take a break anyway. Almost tripping over a fleeing family of rodents, he ran to his car and took off. 

He almost collapsed when he got home, and snapped at his mother when she tried to talk to him. In the midst of her nagging, he went to his room and lay down for a while, that annoying lump in his throat burning. With some effort he got back up and got changed. When he saw his mother downstairs, he gave her such a wounded look that even she gave him some space.

“Don’t worry, Mother,” he said miserably. “I won’t forget that creme…” 

At least he felt and smelled nice and fresh. He took a breather in the car and then headed for the school, convinced he’d have to face an angry and rat bitten Superintendent. 

He wasn’t far off. the moment he stepped out of his car, Chalmers was there, yelling, furious....disappointed. “What the fresh Hell, Seymour?!” he ranted. 

By now Skinner’s eyes were moist, burning. He was exhausted. “Superintendent,” he pleaded, but unable to think of what he could possibly say to make this better. “I’m..I’m so sorry…”

Chalmers looked awkward. “...I just wanted to know where you were, Seymour,” he said. “I was going to grab some scones...is everything alright?”

Skinner looked up at him, confused, flustered. Perhaps Bart did indeed take care of the rats…? “I...uh...ermm…” 

Skinner admits he needs help (go to Ch. 5)

Skinner says everything’s ok (go to Ch. 7)


	3. 3

He decided to get some coffee to really get a jump on the day. Humming to himself, he went into the kitchen and nodded in greeting to staff and helped himself to a cup ‘o joe. Just as he brought the cup to his lips, he heard, as if from miles away, a warning call of: “Hey, Skinner, think fast!” 

Before he could even lift his eyes, he was pelted with spitballs, the force of impact knocking the cup against his suit. Before he knew it his freshly laundered clothes were stained, his hair mussed and filled with biohazardous material. He heard a multitude of youthful voices laughing as he fled the attack zone. He yelled warnings of making entries into permanent records, though as the children perhaps already knew, there were no specific perpetrators. He simply didn’t know all who was responsible and right now he was more concerned about fixing his appearance. Besides, this was hardly anything new, just incredibly inconvenient considering the import of the day. 

It still made him upset, though, and he couldn't stop thinking of what Chalmers might say if he saw him like this. It would be terrible to get yelled at for the state of his clothes yet again. He rushed past teacher and student alike for the safety of his office, when he spotted the Superintendent in the hall. Heart pounding with a sudden panic, he dashed down the hall towards his office.

In his haste to run down the hall, he knocked into a teacher. Imprisoned by the expectation to apologize, Skinner was held up for a few seconds. That was all it took. 

“Skinneeeeerrrrrrrr!” came the inevitable howl. 

The teacher slinked away, leaving Skinner to turn around with a sheepish look on his face and coffee still dripping down his silky lapels. “Superintendent Chalmers,” he muttered with a forced smile. “L-lovely day we’re having…”

Chalmers was about to say something, but at the sight of the principal he gaped for a moment and then looked at him with a renewed irritation. “What...what is the meaning of this? What kind of example do you think you’re setting for the faculty?!”

Skinner looked down and wrung his hands, his throat stinging. “Y-yes, Sir...I’m sorry, I had an accident in the cafeteria…”

“Well, there’s no time to change, classes have already started!” Chalmers said, coming closer. Skinner held still, barely daring to look up as the other man walked all the way around him, no doubt inspecting him all over. “Please tell me you have spare clothes in your office.” 

Skinner looked up and thought for a moment. He said...

“Y-yes, Sir, I’ll get changed right away,” he lied. (go to ch. 6)

“No, Sir…” (go to ch. 4)


	4. 4

Skinner’s face reddened, gaze firmly downward as he admitted his failure to his boss. 

“Wha--you didn’t think to bring a change of clothes with you?!” Chalmers exclaimed, fists on hips. “Really, Seymour,” he tutted. He turned to go, but made a beckoning gesture with his hand. “Come on,” he sighed. 

Skinner followed, eyes wide, heart pounding. For all he knew he was about to get dressed down even further. As they walked down the hall in silence, he sneaked glances at the Superintendent, who looked magnificently stern and poised. He was a bit confused once they left the building and headed for Chalmers’ car. 

With a hand at his mouth in wonder, he watched Chalmers pop the hood and retrieve a bundle. The man looked tired as he handed a set of freshly cleaned and ironed clothes to Skinner, who took it in a daze. “F-for me?” he asked. He noticed from the tags that it was in his size. “S-Superintendent...?” 

“Don’t worry, it’s already been taken out of your paycheck,” Chalmers stated, slamming the trunk closed. “Hurry up and get changed, Seymour,” he added as he walked away. 

Skinner waited till his boss was fully turned around before he hugged the bundle and grinned, touched by Chalmers’ consideration of him. He was so moved that he completely ignored Bart, who was busy decorating the outer walls of the school. 

He went back to his office and changed.

(go to Ch. 8)


	5. 5

The principal could no longer hold it back. The tears burst forth, though he tried to hide them behind his hands. “Oh, Gary…” he sobbed. “It’s a mess, it’s all a mess!” 

Chalmers stood there awkwardly and confused, but before long he was at Skinner’s side, a firm, confident hand on his shoulder. “Seymour!” he chided, but with a softness to his voice. “Seymour, it’s ok! Look at me…” 

Skinner obeyed, his eyes red and watery. “I’m so sorry, Sir…”

“I think you need more time off…” Chalmers said, with a soft frown. “Come ‘ere,” he pulled Skinner in for a surprisingly tight hug, and allowed the other man to cry into his suit for a moment. 

Wiping his nose, Skinner gazed at his boss, who seemed to only be concerned about him. “Y-yes, I think you’re right, Sir. It’s...it’s been a stressful day.” 

“And it isn’t even lunch yet,” Chalmers said with a soft shake of the head. 

At this moment Bart wheeled past on his skateboard. With a flute in one hand, he flashed a peace sign at Skinner with the other. "Anyway..." Chalmers muttered as he headed back inside. Skinner went to his office. 

(go to Ch. 8)


	6. 6

Chalmers looked less disapproving at this answer. He harumphed, “See that you do,” as he stormed past. Skinner sighed in relief, but was then plunged into a new anxiety: he had just lied to his beloved boss, and now had to furnish new clothes ASAP. His mind raced as he rushed back outside to his car, hoping dearly that Chalmers wouldn’t need him during the time it took to go home and back. 

Several minutes were wasted arguing with his mother when he got home, all over that damn creme. Skinner wasn’t sure exactly how he got roped into this, but he spent even more time going to the store, picking up the medication, and bringing it home. 

“Are you happy now, Mother?” he asked dryly as she inspected the tube. 

She gave him a wry look. 

“Don’t answer that,” he sighed. “Now, I need to get ready. If you need anything else, Mother…” Skinner grumbled as he went to his room. “It will have to wait.” 

He took the time to look through his clothes and pick out an especially snazzy looking suit in honor of the day, and redid his hair. He could practically hear Chalmers scream for him as he rushed back to the school. 

When he returned, he felt his car run over a bunch of sickening lumps. He staggered out of his car, dazed at the sight of a flood of rats streaming out of the building, with Groundskeeper Willie running after them. 

Bart came up to him. “Chalmers is looking for you,” he said casually, watching the chaos. Skinner gulped and ran against the fuzzy tide. 

“Skiiiiiiiiiinnnnnneeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr!!!”

“S-Superintendent…”

“Where have you been?” Chalmers demanded. 

Skinner was furtively trying to look around for signs of the rats while at the same time giving his attention to his boss. He quaked. “I-I had to check on Mother, Sir...her medication…”

Chalmers raised an eyebrow. “I see…” He paused to look at him. “Seymour, is everything alright?”

Skinner gazed up at him and struggled to speak at first. Then, mustering the courage, he…

Breaks down (go to Ch. 5)

Keeps it inside (go to Ch. 7)


	7. 7

Skinner swallowed the lump in his throat and answered bravely, “Everything’s just fine, Sir. I just went home to check on Mother, but I assure you I’m every bit ready to get back to work!” He noticed Bart zooming past on his skateboard, flute in hand, from the corner of his eye. 

“Hrrmmm…” Chalmers murmured. “Well, I’m satisfied,” he said with a shrug. “But you need to let someone know when you go home during school hours, Seymour! What if I needed you?”

Skinner gave Chalmers a meaningful look, which was apparently too strong for the Superintendent, who looked away almost immediately and turned to leave. “Welp, let’s get back to it.” 

On the outside, Skinner was calm, cool, collected, but on the inside, he was a mess. He dared not shed a tear, but was inwardly having a breakdown. He speed-walked to his office once Chalmers turned his back. The room stunk, but at least he could be alone. 

Skinner groaned and rested at his desk for a bit, fighting the urge to shed tears, lest Chalmers or a student walk in at that moment. He wasn’t worried about Willie intruding...he’d seen him cry so often he wasn’t even embarrassed by it anymore, but anyone else would be devastating.

He ran his fingers through his hair and gazed wistfully at the portrait of his boss he kept in his drawer.

(go to Ch. 8)


	8. 8

Like a sudden flash flood breaking, a panic washed through the principal. “Gary’s present!” he gasped. He had completely forgotten to go shopping for him! How dearly he wanted today to be special, to leave some kind of token for his love--without admitting to anything, of course--all dashed, dashed! He thought about heading out again, but so soon after leaving already didn’t seem right. 

But then he had a thought...he rushed to the door and flung it out, looking for Bart. Maybe the boy could go and buy something, if given the proper funds...if he could be trusted. Even if he spent most of it on candy, he could still, theoretically, come back with something nice, right?

Then again, Skinner thought, he had been knitting with Mother a lot lately...surely he could whip something up, charmingly hand made…?

Skinner asks Bart to buy a present (go to Ch. 9)

Skinner knits Chalmers a beanie (go to Ch. 10)


	9. 9

Ahh, there he was, swaggering down the hall with pride at his accomplishment. “Bart!” Skinner hissed with a hand at his mouth, as if to keep this a secret. He waved him inside. Bart looked at him, unimpressed. 

Skinner was shaking so bad he almost dropped the money as he handed it to Bart. “I need you to buy Superintendent Chalmers a present,” he said hurriedly, trying to sound stern amongst his blushing. 

Bart took the money and counted it. “Lemme guess,” Bart said with half lidded eyes. “You’re gonna say it’s from you.” 

“Yes, yes,” Skinner said impatiently. He bent down to look at Bart on his level. “Get something nice, please? I’ll make it up to you, just…”

“Yeah, yeah.” Bart pocketed the money and left, while Skinner wondered if he did the right thing. Sighing, he slumped down at his desk. 

(go to Ch. 11)


	10. 10

Furiously, the principal knitted, like his life depended on it. Good thing he kept yarn and supplies in his desk these days. He didn’t have exact measurements, but rather eyeballed it, having all but memorized the dimensions of Chalmers’ balding dome over the years. When other students came in with teacher’s notes, he just dismissed them, and he worked through lunch. 

Eventually his stress and distress melted, the knitting needles seemingly working on their own. He began to smile again, and even imagined his boss yelling his name. It sounded far off, intoxicating...and then suddenly sharp and close. 

He shoved the yarn in his drawer and leaped to the door. He let in Chalmers, who seemed in no particular hurry. “We need to look over the budget proposal, Seymour,” he said casually, and pulled up a chair. 

“Certainly, Sir,” answered the principal, relieved that it wasn’t something bad this time. In fact he very soon felt at ease, getting to share such a dry and fascinating subject with Gary. 

At one point, when Chalmers pointed to some data on the page, and Skinner’s finger touched his…

Chalmers pulled away, giving Skinner a shocked look for a moment, then cleared his throat. “Well, uh,” he said, looking away. “That’ll be all, Skinner. Just...ahhh...hold on to this.” Skinner got up when he did, and walked him to the door. He gazed after him and rushed back to his knitting. After a while, he was holding up a rather decent looking knitted hat. He glanced at the clock, eager for it to reach 3:00, perhaps for the first time in ages. 

But at that moment, he heard a familiar, childish voice over the PA system, “Here ye, here ye! Attention, everyone!” 

“Oh, no…” Skinner got up, heart racing at the thought of yet another fire he had to put out. 

“Everyone assemble in the multi-purpose room for a very important announcement! Superintendent Chalmers, your presence is expected!” 

“Bart!!” Skinner moaned, slapping a hand on his face. He rushed to the MPR, after stashing the beanie in his pocket.

(go to Ch. 11)


	11. 11

The multi-purpose room was packed by the time he arrived, after hearing Bart fool around on the PA stystem. Bart and some other students were on stage. Skinner wanted to be mad, but was more worried than anything. What would Gary think?

“Is everyone here?” Bart asked through the microphone, clearly loving his command of everyone’s attention. Skinner shoved his way to the front, but only gave Bart a worried, pleading look, waiting like everyone to hear what he had to say. 

“Today we celebrate Superintendent Chalmers’ Birthday!” Bart announced gleefully, while Skinner groaned. “He turns 78!” Everyone but Skinner laughed. 

“Oh, come on!” Chalmers called from the back of the crowd. But he was otherwise quite flattered by the consideration, and all but pranced on stage. “Now, now, children,” he chided, with a prideful, happy look on his face. “There’s no need for all this hub bub, it’s just a birthday…”

“Let’s hear it for Gary!” cried Bart. 

Chalmers couldn't even be angry, he was swallowed up by cheers and applause. Skinner was stock still, shocked and overwhelmed by what was happening, that he didn’t hear Bart call his name at first. 

“Come on, Skinner, get up here!” he goaded. 

Blushing, the principal yielded under pressure and got on stage. He couldn’t hide the pride and adoration in his eyes as he practically stared at Chalmers the whole time, biting down a smile. The Superintendent beamed at him, and even gave him an open arm gesture of welcome. 

Bart came up to Skinner and gave him the mic, which he took awkwardly. “Ahem...umm...errr…”

Bart rolled his eyes good naturedly, evoking a laugh from the crowd. He didn’t need the mic to be heard. “I think what Principal Skinner is trying to say is, in honor of the Superintendent’s Birthday, we all get to go home!” 

Chaos erupted; Bart crowd surfed his way out, while the two staff members left on stage looked at each other, blindsighted. They erupted into laughter, Skinner wiping his eyes. They were left alone within minutes. Chalmers thrust his hands in his pockets and looked down, suddenly awkward. “Did you plan all this, Seymour?” he said, trying to sound stern. 

Skinner bit his lip, debating on how to answer, but Chalmers rescued him by saying, “Well...thank you, Seymour. I...I didn’t think you would have remembered…” 

“I’ve been waiting all year,” Skinner blurted, then covered his mouth, looking away fiercely. When he dared to look at Chalmers again, his heart raced...the man was gazing at him so softly but intently. 

Skinner…

Has the beanie (go to Ch. 12)

Doesn’t have the beanie (go to Ch. 13)


	12. 12

His hands shaking, Skinner yanked the knitted hat from his pocket and practically thrust it into Chalmer’s hands. “I, uh...I thought you’d...erm…” 

“You made this?” Chalmers asked softly, gazing at the hat in soft wonder. 

Skinner rubbed the back of his neck. “Just something I threw together, Sir...you could use it as a coaster if you don’t like it…”

Chalmers put it on. The colors were a bit wild compared to his otherwise fairly drab look, but he looked content. “It’s disturbingly scratchy,” he said. “And smells like fur...but other than that, I love it Seymour. Thank you.” 

Skinner…

runs away (go to Ch. 14)

kisses Chalmers (go to Ch. 15)


	13. 13

Skinner patted his pockets automatically, and miserably remembered he didn’t have a gift. Ruefully he wondered how much candy Bart managed to get away with…

“I was...I was gonna get you something…” He glanced up at Chalmers, who looked about to say something. He went on abruptly, “How about dinner tonight? I’ll whip up something special.”

Chalmers’ eyes narrowed, but then relaxed as he shrugged. “I’ll take that, thank you, Seymour.” 

They remained in an awkward, heavy silence. “What a day, huh?” chuckled Chalmers, and when he looked into Skinner’s eyes, there was something unusually vibrant in that look. “You know...since we apparently have the rest of the day off, why don’t we stop by my place first, grab some beers?”

Skinner…

runs away (go to Ch. 14)

kisses Chalmers (go to Ch. 15)


	14. 14

Overwhelmed, Skinner muttered something under his breath and then ran like the Dickens off stage. His heart was fit to burst, his eyes stinging, his ears burning from the sound of his name…

He stopped at the feel of Chalmers grabbing his arm, spinning him around. They gazed at each other, both breathing heavily and on delicious edge...Chalmers yanked Skinner into his arms and pressed soft but confident lips against his. 

Skinner fell into that kiss, like surrendering himself to the volcano. He leaned against the other man and let him support him, his hands tender across his back. He sighed and laughed as the kiss migrated down his neck. They both laughed softly and rested their foreheads together. 

“Happy Birthday, Gary,” Skinner said softly into his ear. 

END


	15. 15

Skinner was hardly listening. He watched Gary’s lips move and his eyes flash, but paid little heed to the words. With a dazed but content look, he interrupted his boss by grabbing his arm and pressing against him, finding his mouth with his own with shocking grace. Before Skinner had a chance to freak out at his own actions and pull away, he felt Chalmers wrap his arm around his back and lean against him. 

In that kiss, Skinner confessed the love he’d been hiding for years, and Chalmers greedily accepted it. Chalmers, overcome with a sudden passion, pressed a flurry of kisses down Skinner’s face, down his throat, and then pulled away to gaze at him. “Well, Seymour, today was...odd, but I think it turned out quite well.” 

Skinner gazed lovingly back. “I think so too, Gary. I think so, too.” 

END


End file.
